a mamma in the making

Wednesday
4 June, 2008

Ok, ok, so it’s true I ate four fudgesicles yesterday. They are small, it’s really like eating two. Still, I know I need to get a better handle on my cravings for sweets and sugars. Marina did warn me that it’s important that I focus my caloric intake towards whole foods, which I do (when not thinking about sugar). My next office visit with her will include a blood test for pregnancy diabetes, which I really do not need to dabble with. I do not need to be overweight (translation, out of shape for the birth) and try to squeeze a much too large baby out of my wahine. So it would behoove me to remember these things next time I’m reaching into the freezer for the bag of Nestle’s tollhouse chocolate morsels, or pouring my second bowl of cereal that I really don’t need but just want for the sweet satisfaction of it.

I swear it’s backlash for not showing at all the first almost five months and kind of feeling a little smug about it whenever anyone would say “oh, wow, you’re so small”…… Payback’s a bitch. I swear I can see myself getting bigger by the day. Which is ok when it comes to the belly, but I really don’t groove on the rest of my body growing along with it. It’s just not necessary.

If I sound body obsessed, you haven’t just sorted out your closet and taken out 80% of your clothes and stored them until God knows when so you don’t have to try stuff on only to find you are more like a Vienna sausage wrapped in cloth than the happy dancing yogini you once were.

If there’s anything that challenges our super-fit, model thin thinking culture, it’s being pregnant. I suppose as long as I can get create more mind over matter with my sugar fits and keep going to yoga and taking my vitamins, all will be well. And that means no buying any more junk at the dang grocery store so that it’s here at the house to temp me with.

I never realized just how much it takes to grow another person, both physically and emotionally, how much everything changes, how powerful and miraculous the feminine form is to be able to adapt and adjust according to these needs. Pregnant gals may get bigger, but surely they get better right along with it.