A version of this beautiful Buddhist tangka was a recent gift to the new being within from some members of my sangha (Key West Tara Mandala). It is quite special in many ways, and very appropriate for this spirit who has chosen me as her provider and container to bring her forth into this world.
My dear friend Ellen, known as Yeshe Chopel when she teaches, taught me the Prajna Paramita practice this past December, just before the baby was conceived. The practice is an open-eyed meditation, where
one dissolves the vision of Prajna Paramita, mother of the Buddhas, genetrix of the awakened state, pregnant with all phenomena, into oneself….then mixes awareness and space, resting in the ease and spaciousness.
I find it curious but not surprising that doing this practice has led me to this path towards motherhood, that this being has chosen me to bring her forth, in the “unlikeliest” of circumstances. Rob and I scarcely knew each other, and yet here we are, creating a family together, admiring, honoring and respecting each other, walking towards something most plan well in advance for. This is yet another reason I find this experience to be such a spiritual one, a total transformation of the way I am used to being. Plan-oriented, particular, picky, aloof, even non-committal. And certainly not spacious enough to have room for a child. (Boy, has THAT been a good lesson these last 8 months of letting go, letting go, letting gooooooooooooo).
I also find it curious but not surprising that the image of the tangka hanging over our bed (which will be where the baby sleeps when she comes) has seemingly shifted the energy within me (and dare i say on the external, too?) in the last day or two? I feel like I have surrendered to the spaciousness rather than slumbered in the spacing-out-ness. No longer resisting the groggy, foggy bog, resting in the spaciousness, easing the anxiety. It is so interesting to watch energy change like that! and to feel myself unwinding from my deep spiral, of feeling warm again towards the outer world. of course, saying the mantra certainly has helped.
Om gate gate, para gate, para sam gate, bohdi swaha.
“Gate means gone. Gone from suffering to the liberation of suffering. Gone from forgetfulness to mindfulness. Gone from duality into non-duality. Gate gate means gone, gone. Paragate means gone all the way to the other shore. So this mantra is said in a very strong way. Gone, gone, gone all the way over. In Parasamgate means everyone, the sangha, the entire community of beings. Everyone gone over to the other shore. Bodhi is the light inside, enlightenment, or awakening. You see it and the vision of reality liberates you. And svaha is a cry of joy or excitement, like “Welcome!” or “Hallelujah!” “Gone, gone, gone all the way over, everyone gone to the other shore, enlightenment, svaha !” -Ven. Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh
I hope she will like the image of the Prajna Paramita hanging over her as she sleeps, that she will come to know her in her own deep way, that this tangka will help in “re-minding” her to bring her great joy, compassion and liberation throughout her lifetime. I don’t want to push my philosophical beliefs on her and want her to explore her own way, but something tells me she already has met the great mother of the Buddha once or twice before…..
“Buddhist teachings say that every being has been our mother in the past.” Women of Wisdom by Tsultrim Allione
